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So, Who has ever been raped, violated, sexually assulted, or merely understand why One would feel dirty, and compulsively wash after such an experience.
Understandable, isn't it?
Now imagine that horrible, dirty feeling running through every one of Your veins, right beneath Your skin.
Horrible, isn't it?
One would often judge those Who suffer Self-Mutilation.
Filthy. Horrible. Pathetic. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Coward. Sinner. Evil. Bad. Immoral. Wimp. Useless. Unworthy. Worthless. Yellow-Belly. Debris Of The Earth. Wicked. Corrupt. Damaged. Broken. Weak. Scoundrel. Repulsive. Unseemly. Waste. Reprobate. Degenerate. Good-For-Nothing. No-Good. Wrongdoer. Relpulsive. Miscreant. Malefactor. Trash. Wretched. Inadequate. Insufficient. Defective. Deficient. Spineless. Dismal Excuse For A Human Being.
... Shall I Continue???
You're not helping.
And that's not even the half of it.
And You're telling Them this, all the while, They have that horrible, dirty feeling running through every one of Their veins, right beneath Their skin.
One's sibiling has no sense of Self-Respect.
One's Mum continues to inhale from Her cigerette, 'cause "It makes Her feel better". She has no Will Power.
One's Dad is never happy with Them.
And One shares all of their blood.
Their Filthy, Debilitating Blood.
One doesn't know that only They can make Themselves. They don't want to know. It's the only way They can belong.
Rape. Rape. Rape.
They feel so dirty.
So They Clean.
Cut. Cut. Cut.
Clean. Clean. Clean.
Ah! Much Better.
Clean for a little while longer.
Shut The Fuck Up, People, And Help Them.

-Sincerely, Logic.

Coming From Intelligence.

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DkarnDezolus Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
very well put my friend. I have a close friend who went through the subject mentioned I can't imagine the trauma and I'd give anything of my self to heal those scars within her and to make her see the beautiful person she is.
VintageShadow Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
WOW!!!! there is just sooooo much emotion in it. Its INCREDIBLE.
JasonVoorheesMyLover Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much.
They-Call-Me-Strong Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2011  Student
I was raped and I understand the pain but i also understand that its so much harder for others to be able to help. Being raped... isnt just physical but such deep psychological mind fuckedness that most people dont know how to help.

Thats not to excuse those that cant even try, but I remember when my parents found out... my dad couldnt look at me straight for weeks and my mother basically feared more for what the "family" would think rather then my own pain. But I also know they couldnt handle the fact their only child was raped.

There are two sides to every story... even if someone is deeply wrong in their actions, they still have a reason for doing what they do. Rather it be their own stupidity and projection of self aggression... everyone should help, but there are people that cant handle it, handle the pain.

Maybe they are bad people, but not being able to comprehend the enormity of a situation such as rape of self mutilation is probably a more of a majority of people.
Wasted-Stalker Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2011
I'm not urging People to help. I'm urging Them to not make things worse.
Someone may have a reason for doing something wrong, but it's still wrong.
Most of these negative responses are influenced by a lack of education on a subject.
Responses are only relevant to accuracy.

You might have taken Your Family's more negative response, in fairly good nature; but a lot more People woould only fall further into feelings of dirtiness, fault, betrayal, and mistrust.

And I'm all too aware that rape isn't just physical. I was just using that as more of a metaphor, so getting into the details of the psychological damage was moot.

I would be inerested in hearing about Your personal psychological experience after the rape. I'm fairly certain that it differs from My Own.
They-Call-Me-Strong Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2011  Student
Ahs, well I agree that more education is needed, I think the amount of stereotypes and the way society views people with these problems (including myself) is extremely lagging and there needs to be a progressive movement towards better treatment and understanding

that said I can totally appreciate where you are coming from now that I understand with your explanation. :)

And as for my own fall of depression and ptsd after being attacked, coupeled with my families lack of understanding, I fell into... a very suicidal and dark point of my life... I never pressed charges against my attacker... so I saw him in school everyday... It took, months of therapy and screaming at my parents to finally understand when my mom broke down and cried in front of my own eyes that they personally had no clue how to handle the enormity of the situation... It wasnt until I saw their weakness, that I finally was able to accept their flaws and move on from not feeling supported, into understanding they just were at a loss.

That didnt make the ocd or ptsd or depression go away, I continued to have nightmares and panic attacks. But it helped my family life.
Wasted-Stalker Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
Sorry for a late response.
Yelling and arguing was never something I was capable of doing. When experiencing suicidal tendencies I would find Myself manipulating Anyone around Me Who failed to understand until They felt at least SOME responsibility for what I was experiencing. Despite it being an unfortunate habit, it was still helpful in coping with being bombarded by the People I needed support from.
I don't think I was the best at coping after some of My Own experiences, manipulation being a large part of that. However I did eventually develop more efficient ways of dealing with thing; although, like You, the OCD and PTSD remain. I can't stand OCD. I always like things to be in groups or pairs so that They're not lonely. And I also try to limit any contact with buttons and handles because Everyone touches them so there a Crap load of germs. I can usually handle it, but when I'm overly Anxious I won't touch them at all. How does Your OCD affect You?
They-Call-Me-Strong Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student
With my ocd I for a while had an obsession that everything i did was ultimately bad and would go to hell, as a result I prayed alot, wore rosary beads, stop doing things I loved, such as listening to hard rock music or reading some more adult oriented books and comics, and frequently talked to a priest every week or two. However, after getting over that a few years ago with therapy, only one compulsion has remained as a result of ocd, and thats trichotillomania, which is a compulsion of hair pulling and skin picking, as a result i have very little eyebrows. It's a slight obsession, but also has to do with the neurosensors, apparently its like cutting, where your sensers get a small electric shock from the action, and it makes it easier to become addicted to. Usually Im able to control myself to only pulling a few hairs a day, but when im really anxious sometimes i cant stop myself, and before i know it im looking at the mirror and have only half an eyebrow. a few years ago i even had no eyelashes for a few months.... its been a hard compulsion to get over, i've had it for 5 years.
13NymphadoraTonks13 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer actually...perfect
dark-wolf-girl Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2010
FallenAngel2167 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2010
this explains everything so well. it really helps people understand. it's horrible when people say its disgusting or that they are just angsty teenagers. people really feel like this and have very serious problems. thank you so much for making people understand that.
myxlittlexdarkxangel Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2010
That is a really smart way to put it. I really appreciate this.
Blue-Rose1987 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2009
This was an amazing poem! I often feel like that, like i'm dirty and I hate myself and I'm sad all the fucking time and i can't seem to understand why. I don't dress emo but damn I feel like one some times. I'm too much of a coward to cut myself though.Thank you for writing this!
the-hopeless-dreamer Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009
you just voiced what I wish I had the power, or confidence to say... it's amazing how debilitating fear can be... but anyways, thanks for that... kinda feels good to read...
Wasted-Stalker Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2009
Aha!!! Kind of ironic considering I have an Axiety Disorder.(?!?!?!) Aha!!!
LizLunatic Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2009
Very emotional, and very true sadly
Well done!
LilyFlwer08 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2009
tartakat Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
yay i was sexuall;y molested when i was 5... it is horrible...
FreeMySins Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2009

Help would be nice.

"One's Mum continues to inhale from Her cigarette, 'cause 'It makes Her feel better'. She has no Will Power."

That's def. my mum, if she were still living.
I need to show this to my friends...
REPULSIVEadorablenes Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2008   Photographer
thank you
homigl14 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2008
oh, interesting

writing isn't great, but I suppose the choppiness matches someone filled with anger, spitting out sentences in a short/abrupt manner

overall I think you could have done more with the grammar, utilized it to some degree.. for example.. you seem to separate lines ambiguously... each separation of thought should have meaning! there are certain lines I would have wanted you to keep apart from the rest.. in order to highlight their importance...
Wasted-Stalker Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2008
Yeah. But as You pointed out, the point of this piece wasn't to be grammatically correct, but to serve as a somewhat aggressive Statement Of Reason. It was also supposed to be written directly from The Mind, as it makes it relate on a more Subconscious Level, opposed to an Intellectual Level. Appreciate The Criticism, Though! Aha!!!
naughtyloveletters Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2008
I enjoyed this, quite a bit, not because it was good, but, emotive.
lovely-jessa Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2008   Photographer
This was beautiful, powerful, well-worded and -written, and so very, very true.
Tenri Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2008  Student Writer
:heart: Very powerfully written, and so uniquely too.
wow......thats really deep....*ponders intently*
it kindof opens your eyes, you know?
just-mayfly Featured By Owner May 8, 2008
So true. <3
lovexjunkie Featured By Owner May 4, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
i absofuckinglutely love this.
Well presented.
talnaqib Featured By Owner May 3, 2008
Wow, this is quite a find- discovering your work.
"So They Clean.
Cut. Cut. Cut.
Clean. Clean. Clean.
Ah! Much Better.
Clean for a little while longer."
How many really really understand that? or just say "oh, I know what you mean..."
I dont think anyone can understand - unless they have been there themself.
LillianAlyse Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
This is very powerful and very informative. I'm writing a story in which a girl gets raped, so its good to read pieces like this about how victims feel. Judging from some of the comments this has received, it seems to be right on the money.

Great piece!

(I think you have 'repulsive' twice in the list of insults though, in the third and fourth lines of the list!)
picturemedrowning Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2008  Student Photographer
I love the way this is written.
"You're not helping." --that's exactly right. people think calling us cowards is going to make us "see the light", but it just makes things worse. Thanks for this, it's basically what was in my head but far more organised :]
damagedgirl Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2008
i came on DA tonight after... more a temporary death than vacation to do some 'cleaning'...anyway i found you by chance and i'm so glad i did. this is such a simple concept but you wrote it so well. it's very intense, i'm not sure if i was breathing when i read it. it brings back a lot that i never really ever left alone, but cast aside. its quite lovely really.

Punk-Rocker-Love Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2008
wow this is really touching! *steals the story and puts it in my faves*
startingAtZer0 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2008
i ahevn't been there. but i think i can sort of understand. or maybe just imagine.
anyway, well said and true. :
666G Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2008
You maked the most difficult thing..Put words on the suffering, and a horrible suffering;
you must have a lot of courage and a big sensibility.
thank you to share it to us

:damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr: :damphyr:
MyLittleCut Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2008
wow and here i love you already but im speechless
anna-bear Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2008  Student
You're a GENIUS!!!!!! Gosh I kiss you for such beautiful words!
dollface-xx Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2008

at least somebody will speak out for those who usually won't or can't

Zethian Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the way this is written, and hope to death that it opens some eyes to what's really going on.
punkypeggy Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2008   Digital Artist
thanks for this. it really expresses the feeling of it. thanks for sharing, really.
SolitaryChild Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
KELLYrenewed Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2008
This is an amazing piece. I hear people I'm close to say all those horrid things about the victims. They even say that they aren't victims. It's so unbelieveable sometimes. Ihave known some of the victims and it's true that the only way to help is to listen, try to help, and attempt to understnd. Self mutilation is a terrible thing but it doesn't make someone a terrible person.
I really just wanted to say thank you so much for this piece. It really makes sense.
If you know of any organization to help people with this problem(I didn't want to use that word but I didn't know what else to say.) please let me know what I can do to get involved.
that-hot-chick Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2008
god this goes back to the whole "adopt an emo" thing i did, we all need love even if we are "damaged goods" god i hate that term. so is this about you, or someone you know?
punainen-tahti Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2008  Professional Artisan Crafter
Very sad reading. I mean is very well done in my opinion, but since i've 'jumped the fence' and i became a parent well ... i try my best for the happiness of my kids, and i try to fully accept them for the way they are... but i know that someway sometime at some point i'll do my mistakes ...
Wasted-Stalker Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2008
Aha!!! All I can say is, give Them Boundaries, but still let Them have some Freedom. Aha!!! We always do what we're not allowed to.
My Mum and I got in a fight when I was a bit younger, and so, She made Me Mum for the day. Aha!!! Now that meant that I didn't have to follow the rules either. Now, I'm a MASSIVE curser, but by being allowed to say it, it no longer seemed sooo... Tempting. Aha!!! Mind You, being the Mum was very little fun, and definitely put things in perspective for Me! Aha!!! I didn't do THAT bad of a job, though, either!!! Aha!!!

Aha!!! Oh!!! And Mind Reading would be a useful skill to pick up!!! Aha!!! 'Cause We always just expect that you'se should know what We Want, or how We Feel, or what We're Experiencing. Aha!!!

Tell Them early, about the consequences of certain things, like Sex, and Drugs, and Alcohol. But don't be forceful about not doing those things, just forceful on the Consequences if They Do those things.

Tell Them early, about the consequences of certain things, like Sex, and Drugs, and Alcohol. But don't be ultra forceful about not doing those things, just forceful on the Consequences if They Do those things.

And, THE MOST important thing is, make sure You let Them know, that You accept Them for Who They are. That You Love Them. That They're Beautiful, both Inside AND Outside. And that They're good at least SOMETHING.

I know You probably don't really want, or need, to be told by "Some Kid" how to be a Parent. And I understand. I just had to tell You that stuff, because... Because it's Important, and True.

Thank You for the comment!!! Aha!!! Take Care!!! -Bye!!!
punainen-tahti Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2008  Professional Artisan Crafter
Well ''Some Kid'' ;) actually i really thank you for taking the time to write me your point of view :)

''And, THE MOST important thing is, make sure You let Them know, that You accept Them for Who They are. That You Love Them. That They're Beautiful, both Inside AND Outside. And that They're good at least SOMETHING.''

This is so true, and i'm trying so much. And i think is also so important to forgive. I've never felt accepted or good, and everytime i made a mistake and i tried to apologize as a kid, well it was never accepted and it still hurts. I'm trying not to follow this path.
Well ok, i'm sorry, boring mother blahblah ;)
Anyways, you're welcome, i really liked your works :)
JGT Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2008
Why does every original thought have to be fake-copyrighted for people? Honestly, this is a terrible piece of journalism. The writing is disengagingly and intolerably tirading.

Here's at least one note for good writing: not every sentence deserves a new paragraph. I'll throw in another: cut the question asking, you're not good at it.
ktfoo Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2008
all of this is so true.

GenkiShuichi Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2007
i know you've probably gotten tons of comments already, but i couldnt help myself. this was a very nice read, very true in my opinion. i dont do that to myself, but i do realize what people are going through. i mean i do know a couple people that have done it purely for attention, but whenever i speak to someone i know who does it i just try to make them feel loved and like they have someone they can talk to. i try with all my might to help people, and everytime i do i learn more ways to help others, actually the one thing in life that makes me happy is to help sound very smart when it comes to emotional issues, when i read your writing you sound like such a smart person ^^ i dont know what else to say but i thought i might tell you that
cherryliqueurs Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2007
you've captured everything well <3
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