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September 30, 2007
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So, Who has ever been raped, violated, sexually assulted, or merely understand why One would feel dirty, and compulsively wash after such an experience.
Understandable, isn't it?
Now imagine that horrible, dirty feeling running through every one of Your veins, right beneath Your skin.
Horrible, isn't it?
One would often judge those Who suffer Self-Mutilation.
Filthy. Horrible. Pathetic. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Coward. Sinner. Evil. Bad. Immoral. Wimp. Useless. Unworthy. Worthless. Yellow-Belly. Debris Of The Earth. Wicked. Corrupt. Damaged. Broken. Weak. Scoundrel. Repulsive. Unseemly. Waste. Reprobate. Degenerate. Good-For-Nothing. No-Good. Wrongdoer. Relpulsive. Miscreant. Malefactor. Trash. Wretched. Inadequate. Insufficient. Defective. Deficient. Spineless. Dismal Excuse For A Human Being.
... Shall I Continue???
You're not helping.
And that's not even the half of it.
And You're telling Them this, all the while, They have that horrible, dirty feeling running through every one of Their veins, right beneath Their skin.
One's sibiling has no sense of Self-Respect.
One's Mum continues to inhale from Her cigerette, 'cause "It makes Her feel better". She has no Will Power.
One's Dad is never happy with Them.
And One shares all of their blood.
Their Filthy, Debilitating Blood.
One doesn't know that only They can make Themselves. They don't want to know. It's the only way They can belong.
Rape. Rape. Rape.
They feel so dirty.
So They Clean.
Cut. Cut. Cut.
Clean. Clean. Clean.
Ah! Much Better.
Clean for a little while longer.
Shut The Fuck Up, People, And Help Them.

-Sincerely, Logic.



(C)
Coming From Intelligence.


(C)
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:icondkarndezolus:
DkarnDezolus Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
very well put my friend. I have a close friend who went through the subject mentioned I can't imagine the trauma and I'd give anything of my self to heal those scars within her and to make her see the beautiful person she is.
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:iconvintageshadow:
VintageShadow Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
WOW!!!! there is just sooooo much emotion in it. Its INCREDIBLE.
Reply
:iconjasonvoorheesmylover:
JasonVoorheesMyLover Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much.
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:iconthey-call-me-strong:
They-Call-Me-Strong Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2011  Student
I was raped and I understand the pain but i also understand that its so much harder for others to be able to help. Being raped... isnt just physical but such deep psychological mind fuckedness that most people dont know how to help.

Thats not to excuse those that cant even try, but I remember when my parents found out... my dad couldnt look at me straight for weeks and my mother basically feared more for what the "family" would think rather then my own pain. But I also know they couldnt handle the fact their only child was raped.

There are two sides to every story... even if someone is deeply wrong in their actions, they still have a reason for doing what they do. Rather it be their own stupidity and projection of self aggression... everyone should help, but there are people that cant handle it, handle the pain.

Maybe they are bad people, but not being able to comprehend the enormity of a situation such as rape of self mutilation is probably a more of a majority of people.
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:iconwasted-stalker:
Wasted-Stalker Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2011
I'm not urging People to help. I'm urging Them to not make things worse.
Someone may have a reason for doing something wrong, but it's still wrong.
Most of these negative responses are influenced by a lack of education on a subject.
Responses are only relevant to accuracy.

You might have taken Your Family's more negative response, in fairly good nature; but a lot more People woould only fall further into feelings of dirtiness, fault, betrayal, and mistrust.

And I'm all too aware that rape isn't just physical. I was just using that as more of a metaphor, so getting into the details of the psychological damage was moot.

I would be inerested in hearing about Your personal psychological experience after the rape. I'm fairly certain that it differs from My Own.
Reply
:iconthey-call-me-strong:
They-Call-Me-Strong Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2011  Student
Ahs, well I agree that more education is needed, I think the amount of stereotypes and the way society views people with these problems (including myself) is extremely lagging and there needs to be a progressive movement towards better treatment and understanding

that said I can totally appreciate where you are coming from now that I understand with your explanation. :)

And as for my own fall of depression and ptsd after being attacked, coupeled with my families lack of understanding, I fell into... a very suicidal and dark point of my life... I never pressed charges against my attacker... so I saw him in school everyday... It took, months of therapy and screaming at my parents to finally understand when my mom broke down and cried in front of my own eyes that they personally had no clue how to handle the enormity of the situation... It wasnt until I saw their weakness, that I finally was able to accept their flaws and move on from not feeling supported, into understanding they just were at a loss.

That didnt make the ocd or ptsd or depression go away, I continued to have nightmares and panic attacks. But it helped my family life.
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:iconwasted-stalker:
Wasted-Stalker Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
Sorry for a late response.
Yelling and arguing was never something I was capable of doing. When experiencing suicidal tendencies I would find Myself manipulating Anyone around Me Who failed to understand until They felt at least SOME responsibility for what I was experiencing. Despite it being an unfortunate habit, it was still helpful in coping with being bombarded by the People I needed support from.
I don't think I was the best at coping after some of My Own experiences, manipulation being a large part of that. However I did eventually develop more efficient ways of dealing with thing; although, like You, the OCD and PTSD remain. I can't stand OCD. I always like things to be in groups or pairs so that They're not lonely. And I also try to limit any contact with buttons and handles because Everyone touches them so there a Crap load of germs. I can usually handle it, but when I'm overly Anxious I won't touch them at all. How does Your OCD affect You?
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:iconthey-call-me-strong:
They-Call-Me-Strong Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student
With my ocd I for a while had an obsession that everything i did was ultimately bad and would go to hell, as a result I prayed alot, wore rosary beads, stop doing things I loved, such as listening to hard rock music or reading some more adult oriented books and comics, and frequently talked to a priest every week or two. However, after getting over that a few years ago with therapy, only one compulsion has remained as a result of ocd, and thats trichotillomania, which is a compulsion of hair pulling and skin picking, as a result i have very little eyebrows. It's a slight obsession, but also has to do with the neurosensors, apparently its like cutting, where your sensers get a small electric shock from the action, and it makes it easier to become addicted to. Usually Im able to control myself to only pulling a few hairs a day, but when im really anxious sometimes i cant stop myself, and before i know it im looking at the mirror and have only half an eyebrow. a few years ago i even had no eyelashes for a few months.... its been a hard compulsion to get over, i've had it for 5 years.
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:icon13nymphadoratonks13:
13NymphadoraTonks13 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
this...is actually...perfect
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:icondark-wolf-girl:
dark-wolf-girl Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2010
amazing!
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